Romance scams
We’ve all heard the one about the so-called Nigerian Prince fleecing the foreign woman of thousands of dollars. But it can happen in the Chinese dating world, too.
Scammers can approach you through legitimate Chinese dating apps and websites. They might build trust by claiming to work in a trusted occupation, and use fictional names and stolen pictures.
Their goal is to receive money or personal information from you. For example, asking you to help pay for urgent medical treatment.
This is a big alarm bell. Don’t give them anything – see if they’ll agree to meet in person first.
See also: How to learn basic Mandarin
COVID-19 has intensified the dating scene
In most countries, online romance in a post-COVID world has become more than just finding love. It’s also a source of comfort and connection.
Chinese dating apps have seen a significant increase in usage following the outbreak.
That’s good news for you, as there are more fish in the sea – but probably more competition too!
Like I said before, be patient and know what you’re getting into.
What’s your end game?
If you do meet the Chinese girl of your dreams online, what’s your end game?
By that I mean how do you plan on having a relationship? If you feel a connection, would you visit China and meet your lovely lady face-to-face?
Then if it works out, would she move to your country? Or vice-versa? And how easy is that?
Are you thinking short term or long term? Image by ShutterOK on Shutterstock.
You need to think about the time and cost factors involved. The person on the other end may also have different hopes and aspirations!
As the saying goes, “love will find a way” but just be prepared for the sorts of challenges that may come up.
Teaching in China… for love
Many older men go to work in China as English teachers. (It depends on the province, but 55 is usually the cut-off age to get a work visa for China.)
These men go to China with the primary aim – though many would never admit it – to find a Chinese woman and eventually bring her back to their country.
Teaching English is simply the platform that enables them to do this.
If this option attracts you, check out the guide on how to find a job in China or browse jobs in China on The Helpful Panda jobs site.
Love and marriage
If you happen to get to the marriage proposal stage, these external links may help (if you’re American):
Laws are different for each country, so check with your government’s foreign affairs department before tying the knot.
Dating a Chinese woman may lead to marriage. Image by Aslysun on Shutterstock.
I recommend taking baby steps though – maybe start with a tourist visa and go and visit China.
Chinese tourist visas are relatively cheap and easy. In some cases, you don’t even need one.
You can check out this page for more information on simple Chinese visas.
When is the best time to start dating?
Start when you’re ready.
It’s not fair on your future partner if you’re not over your ex, or you’re not committed to the present.
While there are always single Chinese people looking for love, it can be heightened at the following times when people may be feeling particularly lonely:
Spring Festival
Known in the West as Chinese New Year, this is the most special time of year. It happens in January or February, depending on the lunar calendar. It’s when families get together, eat and celebrate, just like our Christmas.
See also: Do Chinese celebrate Christmas?
It can also be a stressful time for singles who return home without a partner, or are pressured by their family to find someone, particularly women approaching their 30s.
Sadly, you’re deemed a ‘leftover’ in China if you’re not married by around this age. It’s a stigma that’s attached to you until you find someone, which may never happen.
If you have a spare eight minutes, this short documentary about a single woman in China is compelling. It will open up your eyes to how hard it is for women in China.
See also: The best documentaries about China
Chinese Valentine’s Day
Qixi Festival is in August each year. Like Spring Festival, the date changes based on the lunar calendar.
On this romantic day, couples spend time together, enjoy a nice dinner and exchange gifts.
Valentine’s Day, February 14
The Western holiday is popular with younger people in China. Generally, women buy chocolates or gifts for their guy.
White Valentine’s Day, March 14
Men are expected to not only reciprocate the gift received on February 14 – by giving white chocolates – but also giving more expensive presents in return.
There are many romantic days on the Chinese calendar. Image by Wichai Bopatay on Pixabay.
520 Festival, May 20
In Mandarin, ‘520’ sounds a bit like ‘I love you’, hence this day has become synonymous with love in China.
Singles Day, November 11
More a day to celebrate singlehood than find romance, 11/11 represents four single sticks. It’s a big day for online shopping in China, similar to our Black Friday.
Reaching out to a lovely Chinese lady on a romantic day would be appreciated, especially Qixi Festival or 520 Festival.
This is because it shows you’ve learned a bit about the Chinese culture and language.
A lot of Western guys expect to find a Chinese bride not knowing a thing about the culture or language. Put yourself in her shoes – how would that feel?
You can check out this page for more information on romantic days in China.
The Chinese Dating Park
I can’t finish this article without touching on the Chinese Dating Park (also referred to as the Chinese Marriage Park).
It’s a quirky feature of the Chinese dating world that’s worth knowing about.
Usually once a week, parents (most notably mothers), arrive in the dozens, if not the hundreds, to advertise their unmarried offspring in the local park.
This is because Chinese parents are desperate for their adult children to find ‘the one’, especially before they turn 30 and become leftovers.
A Chinese Marriage Park in Shanghai. Image by By Bystrov on Shutterstock.
Hoping to find a suitable son or daughter in-law, they bring photos of their children, and a resume listing name, age, height, education, job history, and sometimes their child’s prerequisites in a suitable partner.
It’s a sight worth seeing if you ever make it over to China.
See also: 8 unique Chinese cultural norms
A reminder if you’re traveling to China
If you’re planning a trip to China, don’t forget the internet is censored there.
So, when using Wi-Fi you won’t have access to your favorite sites and apps like Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Gmail, Google and heaps more, unlessyou get a VPN before you go.
You can refer to my review for the best China VPN (or skip the review and go here).
Just make sure you download it before you arrive as the signup page will be blocked in China.
Are you ready for Chinese dating?
Now that you know a bit about Chinese dating, it’s time to put the pedal to the metal if you want to find a soulmate.
But remember – be mindful of the cultural differences and nuances, be patient and understanding, and most importantly, be respectful.
If you’re not currently in China (which rules out meeting in-person, for now), have a go at using some of the Chinese dating sites and apps I’ve highlighted.
If you don’t know where to start, try one of the more popular ones like ChinaLove Cupid.
With some patience and persistence, you’ll get there.
In the words of Confucius, “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop”.
I hope you enjoyed my article on Chinese dating. For more information about Chinese girls, I’d start with the A-Z of Chinese girls and go from there.
Or, if you’re feeling inquisitive, find out what massage in China is really like.
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